When You REALLY Want Something




Today, Jordana Brewster (or as I call her Mia) announced the birth of her son, Julian.  Mia says that she and her husband, Andrew Form, are thinking about having kids.  She also says she's ready to have them.  What about Julian?  The couple had their first son via surrogate.  I think that's freaking awesome.

I first got pregnant ten years ago.  I was freaked out.  I was working three jobs spread out seven days a week (sometimes I worked at two different places in one day), and I lived in a small apartment.  That freakout lasted a whole day, I think.  The next night, I was out with a friend when she offered me a drink.  I happily told her I was going to be a mom.  It was absolutely crazy, but so exciting.  I've always been the type of person to just figure things out one way or another, so I knew I'd figure something out then too.  Unfortunately, I lost that baby.  It was devastating.  To me it felt like what life always did to me (take things that are right there within my reach), except this time it felt a million times worse.  That led to some changes and new attitudes, but I knew that one day I did want to be a mom.
After being a few years with my current partner and lying through my teeth I didn't want to be a mom, I admitted I was just scared of losing another baby.  I insisted that I preferred adopting.  The thing is I really wanted to be able to carry a baby.  I wanted to feel him/her moving inside me.  To push him/her out.  But, I was scared.  I've faced things that have scared me...I just didn't want to go through that emotional pain.  Then, I was told I wasn't able to adopt because we weren't married.  I remember I asked for information on the process and the lady who I really wanted to strangle government employee told me basically that there was no point and she could give me that information once I was married. 
I wanted a child no matter what so I started looking at options.  There was no way I was going to not have a baby.  Fast forward a couple of years and I saw an adoption commercial.  Out of curiosity, I called the number and spoke to the woman.  I simply asked if single parent adoptions were allowed.  I remember her saying, 'Yes, of course'.  I thought she didn't understand the question, so I repeated it.  She answered the same.  I told her what happened and she apologized for the idiot employee that gave me wrong information.  That day I was able to get information.  The only problem then was...I didn't have enough income.
Fast forward again.  I decided to go ahead and try to have a baby.  It wasn't happening.  Again, I started looking for options.  I made an appointment with a fertility doctor which I had to cancel a week before the appointment.  Before rescheduling, I found out I was pregnant.  I was so excited I told a dear friend before even telling my partner.  Sadly, I also lost that baby.
I remember being so hurt and angry and just wanting to give up.  Then I started cursing at everything. F#$k life, f#$k fate, f#$k destiny, I was going to have a baby one way or another for real this time.  And I was going push that baby out.  Two months later, I was pregnant again.  Nine months after that, a beautiful baby boy was cut out of me.  {sigh}  Can't win them all, I guess.
Anyways, back to Mia.  The reason I bring all that up is I once heard a woman say she really wanted to be a mom but she had bad luck in relationships.  She felt that she would never be a mom because she was getting older and she was still single.  I didn't say anything but I kind of asked myself, then why not?  If you really want to be a mom, GO FOR IT!  She was living comfortably: home, car, job.  When I wasn't with my partner I always had adoption in mind.  I wanted to be a mom more than anything.  In my case, I had an idiot the law against me (or so I thought).  I don't know what is Mia's story, but they wanted a baby, so they went ahead and had one.  It is not easy, in any way, whatever road you choose: artificial insemination, surrogacy, adoption, especially if you're going to single parent it.  But, I truly feel if being a parent is something a person really wants to do they should consider all of their options.  Actually, that's something that applies to just about anything, really.

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