Well, here I am again…trying to continue doing what I once enjoyed. Let me catch you up:
Cyber-Box cybercafé no longer exists. That is one of the most heartbreaking things I say. I can’t really say it without bringing up tears. Things didn’t work out as I thought they would. I put faith where I guess it didn’t belong.
Not only did I lose the store, but some months after that I also lost my job. Then, my apt and after that we lost the car that took me places (although that car was so full of drama I can’t say I really miss that loss). After the car loss, it was my studies, dreams, will to continue living, and reason to be happy. Should I say it? Nothing of what happened was my cup of cake. It was my cup of very bitter, nasty, bad-tasting rotten piece of life.
Believe it or not, I’m over it…somewhat. I was able to get some income, find a better place to live with accessible public transportation and new interests. Although, I admit my life isn’t exactly where I’d like it to be, as of a couple of months ago I began to REALLY try to light that spark I once had inside. It’s hard, though. It seems like just when I’m getting there, something knocks the wind out of me. The second-to-last time that happened was at school. I ended up in the ladies room just cussing out my frustrations to my SO over the phone. The last time was not being able to do things as I wanted, which made me realize the things that have gone wrong before. It was awful, really. I felt like I was going to have some sort of breakdown. That was such a scary feeling. About a week ago I decided to just try and get back to doing the things I did and once wanted to do. You know those "escapisms" that just keep you from going crazy? I’ve always been a procrastinator though, so here I am…a week later. There are so many new things I’ve done (craft-wise) since last time I was here. I think it may have been crafting what’s kept me sane. I think my SO’s noticed that too because he’s just buys me things to add to my arsenal.
So, hello again. I was nowhere to be found in my somewhere, but I’m going to get back to my cup of cake.